“ Oh … my God…, not again ! I have to be the partner of that proud young man. This has been the third. It’s really annoying. Why do the teachers not understand my feelings ? Ha … ha … it’s a fool of me.
How can the teachers know my feelings if I never tell it to them! I don’t know why my friends always long for being his partner? According to them, he is kind, friendly, cute, smart, gentleman and so on …. And so on. Huh … disgusting. He is never kind and friendly to me. He always treats me as if I were his enemy who should be beaten up. He never agrees to my opinion. He always tells me that mine is silly, childish and not scientific. Doesn’t he realize that I’m cleverer than him. All right .. I promise I’ll prove that I’m smarter than him. Wait and see, Frans …!!
———-
“I haven’t seen you for a week. Where have you been ?” My best friend startled me.
“Sorry, Rin. I am having a lot of tasks to do this week,” I replied.
“Don’t be so serious Sisca ..! Look at yourself !” told Arin while turning my body around. “It’s not what you are,” she reminded me for my messy looking. In fact, I don’t care about my appearance these days. What is in my mind is just how to prove myself cleverer than Frans. I feel that he always offends me and I am challenged to beat him.
“Hi … I’m talking to you, Siska !” Arin’s voice again surprised me.
“Ups .., yes ?!” I answered easily.
“Forget it. I have more urgent topic to talk than about your appearance,” Arin said seriously. Holding my hands, she continued,”Frans has no girl friend, doesn’t he?”
“So …?” I replied uninterestingly.
“Come on Siska… I am serious. I know you don’t want to talk about him. I know how much you hate him, but I need your help because the one who is close to him is you.”
“Don’t be silly. It’s not as what you look. Why? Why does everybody have the same opinion as yours. Listen ! We are not friends. We are enemies. We often quarrel as I always tell you. We never talk friendly to each other. Sorry, I can’t help you for this.”
“Ok. All right …but, no one can be so close as you are. He never talks to other girls, but you. Please, I like him very much. I want to approach him. Do something to make me close to him,” she begged me so hopefully by closing her eyes, kissing my hands and kneeling down as if I were a Princess. Seeing her, I couldn’t stand not laughing. Unexpectedly, she angrily left me confused.
“Did I say something wrong ?” I asked myself.
One afternoon, I was looking at Frans accidentally while he was practicing basketball. I was there because Arin wanted me to accompany her to have a basketball practice for next week competition.
She is one of our school stars. She is really an excellent play maker. She is able to control the ball and share it to her friends well. She has not only perfect stamina but also high accuracy in shooting. She never misses her ball whenever the ball is in her hands. A score of three is always added for her team. No wonder, our school basketball team always wins in any competition.
Surprisingly, Frans was one of the chosen basketball players in the next competition. I never know that he is also skillful in playing basketball for I never watch his competition though my best friend often asks me to. Besides, he never shows his seriousness in playing it when we have physical practice in the morning. I never thought that he could shoot and dribble excellently. He was so fantastic. “I realize know that he is sporty and handsome. That’s why many girls are jealous of me. They think that I’m his lover. Ha …ha… it’s funny.” I wasn’t aware that I was staring at him.
When the ball ran toward me, he smiled at me catching it. I was really startled. I felt that the blood rose to my cheeks. They must have been reddish. I was embarrassed and went away. Looking at my leaving, Arin shouted at me and asked me to stay, but I pretended not to hear her. “What happened to me? I felt that I wanted to faint when he looked and smiled at me. I lost my energy to stand when our eyes met. His eyes seemed to have such a powerful magnet that they could attract me to come inside. Could it be a love ?” I wondered. “Don’t you hate her?” my heart reminded me. “Yes, of course!” my head replied directly, “but …,” I tried to deny it. “Don’t think about him. Don’t you promise to beat him?” again the voice in my heart said sharply. Then I went to the library which is open until 17.00 and soon I was busy finding reference for our presentation the next three days.
At first, I was annoyed with Frans for he took an ease of the final presentation. I told him to have a discussion on it this afternoon but he said that he was busy. But now … “Why should I be annoyed? It’s my chance to beat him.
I have more time to find reference. It means that I’ll have more information than he does. He will be surprised to my excellent explanation later. He will never think that I can be such an excellent girl.”
Motivating myself, I didn’t realize that it’s time for the library to close. I took some books to read at home. I was walking down stairs slowly while imagining to surprise him in front of the juries by my excellent argument. I was smiling at myself when suddenly he came up right in front of me. I was so startled that I dropped the books I was bringing.
“Sorry,” he apologized while taking all the books. He held them and walked away.
“Hey …. Those are mine.” I shouted at him angrily.
“They are too heavy for your hands to hold,” he replied without looking back at me. I walked behind him. Forcedly, I followed him to his car. It was dark already and no one was at school.
“Everyone has gone home, but why is he still here? Why did he appear at a sudden? How did he know that I was in the library? Did he do it on purpose?” I thought. Ignoring me, he opened his car and put my books in.
“Don’t you hear that those are mine? I’ll read them at home. I don’t borrow them for you.”
“Who said that I needed them ?” he asked facing me. His face was so near mine. He seemed annoyed, but when I looked at his eyes I knew that he teased me. Again my heart beats were getting harder.
“But, …why do you put them into your car?” I asked him encouraging myself to see into his eyes.
“I want to drive you home.”
“You don’t have to be a good man in front of me. I can go home myself, but thank for your invitation anyway.”
“All right … then,” he said so while entering the car.
“Hey …my books!”
“If you worry about your books. You may accompany them,” he told me while opening another door, “so, please !”
I couldn’t say any word to refuse his invitation, so I entered the car and sat beside him. This was the first time I sat in his car with only both of us. I was so nervous that I felt uncomfortable. “Oh ….mother Marry, help me to control my emotion. I don’t want him to know what I feel.” We were quite for some minutes. Then he began the conversation.
“Sisca, will you come to my house tomorrow afternoon to see our observed plants ?”
“No! You must bring them to school, so that Mr. Harry can help us. Besides, I will be busy tomorrow.” I explained while staring at the busy street in front of us.
“How ever busy you are, you must come!” His voice sounded like a command.
“There is no rights for you to force me. You are no one for me!”
Frans didn’t answer. “I am not sure to what you said. I know that you like me. You hate me but you love me. Tomorrow, I’ll ensure myself that I am right. I have prepared it for seven months,” he thought.
——————————————————————————————————-
I knew that I had to go to Frans’ house for all of the plants we used for the experiment were there. The presentation was just the day after tomorrow. It’s useless to keep my esteem. I had to throw it away for the sake of our presentation. We had to win because last year we only became the second runner up.
I never saw the plants because I didn’t want to come to his house. So I had to be satisfied only by observing the data that Frans gave to me. But today it was a must for me to come there to know the real condition of the plants. Cooling down my feelings filled with annoyance and regret why I refused to take care of the plants in my house, I walked toward his house. It’s only 15 minutes walk. The closer I walked, the faster my heart beat.
“Siska, why does your heart beat fast? Do you love him?”
The other voice inside answered,” No … never! He is my enemy. Besides, my best friend falls in love with him. I can’t take him from her.”
“But they haven’t become the lovers yet.”
I stopped the dialogue inside my heart and stood in front of the gate for a minute. I was doubtful whether to push the bell or not. I decided to go away. However, when I was about to leave the house, Frans had already been behind me.
“Where do you want to go? May I accompany you?” he asked so politely. It is not usual. I was so surprised and amazed at the way he dressed that I couldn’t answer his question. He looked so cool and tidy with the pink blouse. His hair style was like the Korean popular singers. The jean trousers he was wearing suited so much with the blouse that it supported his sporty body.
“If you want to go to my house, you are already in front of it.” said he awaking me. Without giving me the chance to answer, he opened the unlocked gate and asked me to come inside politely. “Please, come in!” He was really a warm host.
Not knowing what to say, I walked into the large yard quietly and then stopped in front of the big wooden door. My mind was so busy calming down the beats of my heart that I didn’t hear Frans’ invitation to come into the house. So, Frans approached me and whispered near to my ears, “Come on Siska, don’t stay here.”
Again I felt that a great magnetic force attracted me to follow him. I couldn’t refuse it as I usually did whenever he asked me to do something for him at school. I stepped my feet on the glass like tiles slowly into the house as if I had been hypnotized. We came to a simple guest room decorated ethnically. I was enjoying the Balinese decoration in this room when at sudden, Frans reached my hand and led me to a big living room.
Oh … no …he was holding my hands gently. He would feel my trembles. I didn’t understand myself why I became such a tame bird. The living room designed in Japanese style with some beautiful paintings on its wall looked large enough.
“Please, sit down! In this room, I spend my evening with my parents, when they are at home.” informed Frans while pointing at the photograph of them near the picture of the blooming sakura.
I was still quiet and speechless.
“Daddy is an astronomer and Mom is an architect. She designed this house. For the exterior, he asked me to find an idea for her. Sometimes, Dad gave his opinion too. When he got involved, there appeared often a serious debate among us for he was too logical to have such design. Whereas, mom and I liked to put sense of art on our design.
We are a good team. Above all, I do love them because we always support and have a great understanding one another. Despite their business, they never forget to always contact me whenever and wherever they are.” Realizing my being quiet, he said, ”Sorry, Am I talkative? I’m so excited to have you here, so I want to tell anything to you. I’m afraid that you will never come here again for I know that you don’t like me. Ok, then. It’s your turn to tell me about your family.”
He smiled at me so sweetly. His kindness made me so confused that I became uneasy. I didn’t know what to do or to say.
“Em…, my father is a biologist and lectures in Sanca University while my mother is an English teacher at Bakti Senior High School.” I stopped because I felt there wasn’t interesting things about my family to tell him.
“Then …?” asked Frans. It seemed that he wanted to make me comfortable. He might know that I was nervous. Yes …it was. I was really nervous to be together with him here, just the two of us. It seemed that there was no one in this big house.
“I have one brother. He is seven years older than me. He is already at work.”
“Lucky you ! You have someone to rely on when you are sad or glad ..”
“Do you not have brother or sister ?” I asked him curiously. I began to feel easy to be with him now.
“I am the only child in this home. Sometimes I feel so lonely, especially when my parents are going abroad for a conference. They may stay there at least one month. When they are invited to have a research, it can be more than six months.”
“Then …?”
“Ha ..ha… finally you want to know more about me, don’t you?” teased he. I was ashamed. Why should I feel ashamed?
“Alright, at first I felt annoyed to be alone … but …wait ..!” he raised at a sudden.
“Siska, today I have a surprise for you,” he said so while scrolling up the pink curtain slowly. I was waiting with the fast heart beat. A surprise for me ???
The curtain covered a big glass door separating the living room and the large back yard.
I didn’t believe to what I saw. There were script letters forming the words “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SISKA ! I LOVE YOU !” A beautiful painting of mine was beside the sentence. There was a border of pink roses around it. How did he get my picture? How could he remember my birthday?
I read it again and again ensuring that it’s not a dream. Oh …my GOD, it’s real. I closed my eyes, covering my face with my hands while a song of happy birthday was being played by Frans on his piano. I was speechless but my heart beat in the same rhythm of the piano. I felt as if I had been flying without wings.
Then, Frans put his hands on mine, smiling, ”I have another surprise. Come outside. But, I should close your eyes with this. Do you mind?” Without giving me chance to answer, he put his handkerchief on my face to close my eyes. He did it so gently.
When finished, he took my hand. It was strange that I just held his hand and let him lead me to the backyard.
After some steps, he took of the handkerchief closing my eyes. I felt that my heart stopped beating because I was so astonished with the wonderfully heart – shaped mini garden in front of me. It was filled with colorful roses and bordered with small green and yellow sansieveras. They were real, not artifical. Who planted them?
Then, Frans stood right in front of me with two roses on his hands.
“Siska, you have known what is in my heart. All of these, the paintings and the garden were prepared to welcome you today, in your birthday. I did it myself to show that I love you. You are the queen of flowers, so I’ll devote this garden to you. You may come here whenever you like to enjoy them. This is the key of my house. I have told all about this to my parents. They are eager to see you.
Unfortunately, they are still abroad. And, don’t worry about these plants. I’ll take care of them. I have found my time amazing since I began to fall in love with you.
I have never been lonely anymore for I have to take care of these flowers so that they look beautiful. I always can see that you are in the middle of these flowers.”
This time, I felt my feet limp and almost fell down. His words could break the great wall of my self esteem. I never thought that he loves me very much. I had been wrong, greatly wrong. Why was I so blind? I never saw his cares of me as the expression of love. Oh..My God, what had I done to him? I often hurt him. Tears began to pour my cheeks. What is happening to me? Could it be love? The love that has been hidden for almost 2 years. And now he expresses his love so gently and romantically. Should I tell the truth of what I feel? How about Arin …??
“Siska, will you be my sweet heart?”, his voice stopped my struggling heart to tell the truth bravely. “If you do, take this pink rose but if you refuse, take the white one. Don’t worry to show what is inside your heart. If you don’t like me as you always show whenever we meet, it’s all right. I won’t get hurt. I know that you hate me much.”
He said so by staring at me with full of love. I can, yes I really can feel his power of love penetrate my heart.
“Thank God for his love.” I was about to step forward when I heard my heart said, ”Siska, you betray your best friend.” “Oh…GOD … What must I do? We love each other but I don’t want Arin to get hurt. I care for her too. Ah …Arin, forgive me! He should know that I love him too.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. With trembling voice and tears keeping on pouring my face, I eventually could speak, “Frans, since the day I became your partner in Biology Paper Competition two years ago, it has seemed like heaven coming to me. However, I always saw you as my rival for I always fought for my honor. But since yesterday, it has been getting out of my hands ….”
Then, slowly I picked up the pink rose from his hand and continued silently, “I love you with all of my heart.”
Frans wiped the tears which were pouring on my cheeks like the rain with his hands and then, gently kissed my forehead, whispering, “Thank you, Siska!”
I couldn’t control my emotion, I kissed his cheek with all of my heart. I felt there were some tears dropping from his eyes, too. Now, I swept them gently. Suddenly, he took my body to his warm embrace.
At the same time, Arin saw all of this. She wanted to meet me. She knew that I was here for I told her before to accompany me. But she came late.
Her heart broke into pieces. She knew, then, that Frans didn’t love her. Only Siska was in his heart.
________________________________________________________________________
The following morning, Frans and I were really ready for the “battle” with the team from SMAN 1 in the final. We brought all the data and the result of our experiment to the auditorium of Biology department in Sanca University.
The room had been crowded by the supporters and the students of biology of that University. At a glance, I could see Arin sitting on the balcony. I couldn’t pay attention on her for I had to concentrate.
Fortunately, we got number three so there was a chance for us to learn the other teams’ weaknesses. When the Master of Ceremony called us to mount the podium, we shook hands to encourage each other. It was not our habit when we had a competition like this. Five juries were waiting for our presentation. We decided to present it in English.
It was not a big matter for Frans as he often followed the home stay. I had a big confidence too for I was used to speaking English with my mother at home.
At first, Frans explained about the theory, the chemical bonds, and the use of monosodium glutamate and the reasons why we chose it for the observed plants. He used Microsoft power points to make his explanation clear. He told it so fluently, clearly and systematically that all the juries nodded. He talked as if he had given a lecture to them. Everybody gave applause when he finished.
Seeing how well Frans performed, I was in high spirit to answer all the juries’ questions. I was able to give them such perfect and confident answer that every body gave a standing applause when I could finish all the questions perfectly.
In this opportunity, it’s clear that we had much more preparation than the others did. No wonder, we could bring the trophy from the Governor of East Java. We were proud for finally we were capable of making our school become the first rank in the youth research organization in this province.
———————————————————————————————————
As usual, I visited Arin’s class at the break time. Unfortunately, I didn’t find her. Her classmate told me that she fainted after hearing the morning announcement.
After school I went to Arin’s house. Frans offered his accompanying me but I refused it because I wanted to talk to her alone.
Walking to her house, I was thinking about her. I felt something strange with our friendship. Not only did Arin never forget to congratulate her on her birthday, but also congratulated me whereas she attended the competition.
And today, she fainted after the announcement. I knew her much. She was never such careless to her health before her tournament. She never gave up to what she wanted to reach. Basketball was her life. Her team was scheduled to play with Diponegoro high school two days later.
“Excuse me, Mam? May I see Arin? I heard that she had gone home earlier,” I asked Arin’s mother, Mrs. Totok.
“Please, come in ! She has been in her room only since she came back from your house two days ago. She said that she wanted to celebrate your birthday, but not more than a couple of minutes she had gone back and rushed to her room. I wanted to ask why but she didn’t want to say anything. Was there something happening ?” told her mother.
“I haven’t met her since two days ago. I think this is my fault because I was too busy preparing my final competition. At that time I was in my friend’s house to prepare our final competition. May I talk to her now ?,” I tried to explain uneasily.
“All right, only you can cheer her up because next two days she will have a basketball competition,” said Arin’s mother hopefully.
“Thank you, Mrs. Totok!”
Then I knocked at her door, but there was no answer. I tried it again. There was no response yet. I was about to knock it again when I heard a voice saying that the door was unlocked. I turned the knob and saw Arin sitting on her chair writing something.
She didn’t face me. I felt sure that Arin was angry with me for she was never like this. She always welcomed me warmly. I walked into quietly and sat on the edge of Arin’s bed trying to see her face. It looked so gloomy and white.
“Are you sick ?”
“I am just all right,” she pretended that nothing happened between them.
“No, you lie to me. I know what you feel.”
“No … you never know what I feel. Never …. …” she didn’t continue her words. She played her pen on her fingers, looking at the flowers in front of her bedroom.
“Arin, did you come to Frans’ house and see everything? “ I asked her carefully and waited for the answer in worries, but Arin didn’t respond.
“It just happened as it was. I never thought about it before. It was him who asked me to see our observed plants and made the conclusion about our observation. I didn’t know what he had planned for me. What’s in my mind was just the competition. I wanted to win.
Unfortunately, I had to depend on him to achieve it. Believe me. I never thought of getting his love. Surely, I didn’t believe to what happened to me myself,” whispered I as if I had talked to myself.
“Do you love him?” she asked, still watching outside the window.
“I didn’t know whether I loved or hated him until he expressed that he loved me on that day…”
I stopped for a moment, got the deep sighs and then continued doubtfully, “Yes, I love him.”
“Why do you never tell me about it? And Why do you not keep me away from him when I said that I wanted to approach him? Why do you help me to approach him? Why do you hurt yourself? Why ….why …Siska?”
“I doubted my own feelings for I was too proud to be his girl friend? Arin, I don’t mean to hurt you. If you want him, I will leave him. I don’t want you hurt. “
“Siska, to tell you the truth, yes I am hurt. I was there and saw you kissing. Your mother told me that you were there for your competition. At first, I was glad and hoped that I could be near him but both of you broke my heart. I thought that you played a fool of me,” told Arin while being busy wiping the tears pouring her cheeks.
“Arin ….. forgive me ! Really, I …”
“Forget it ! I realize now that the one whom he loves is you, not me. So, why must I force him to be mine? I don’t want to have a boy friend who doesn’t love me, though I love him. Knowing you both are happy is enough for me. Love doesn’t mean possessing, does it? So …don’t worry me. I do care of you both. I hope that he never knows that I also love him. Now, I just need some time to recover this broken heart. I am sure time will build my heart again for a new life.”
Then she turned her face to see me. There, her eyes were full of tears. “My best friend, he is yours not mine.“
I couldn’t stand crying and embracing her
“But, you will have a competition next two days !”
“Do you think this can influence me? Hm … Siska, how long have we been together? Why do you not know me? There’s nothing which can make me out of my competition.” Arin smiled and wiped the tears on her cheeks.
“Frans, bring me the golden cup !”
“ I will get it and devote it to you. I promise.” said Frans ready to leave. But he still stood in front of me and closed his eyes. I smiled and kissed his cheeks, whispering, “Good luck, my dear.”
From the distance, Arin saw us. She was struggling not to weep. She ran to the second field when her team was called to play.
“Arin …., I love you …!” I shouted to her when she was already in the field. Arin looked at me and raised her thumbs, smiling.
Minutes by minutes, It looked that Arin enjoyed the play. She could control the ball and shot perfectly. A loud applause was always heard whenever she scored for her team.
The competition lasted for a week. And finally Arin’s team became the winner for women basketball cup while Frans’ team got the first runner up.
FRIENDSHIP WHICH IS BUILT FROM THE HONESTY AND LOVE WILL LAST FOREVER.
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